18. Embarrassing!

As the last blog posts have been a wee bit more dedicated towards the serious side - not necessarily serious per se, but definitely not light-hearted - I thought it was time to lighten the mood a bit because laughing is freaking important, man. To adhere to this analogy, I will proceed to collate together some glorious occasions in which I have completely and utterly embarrassed myself (quite the regular occasion). It could just be because I am the most familiar with my own experiences rather than other peoples', but I swear I am excessively clumsy and embarrassing experiences are gravitated to enriching themselves into my life. These stories will be kept to a PG rating because it is not my intention to exploit myself on the web. So here we go...

This first occasion occurred in my Year 12 (second to last year at high school if you're not from NZ) high school year when I was involved in the school's annual production of 'Chicago' - all of which was a completely wonderful experience that was so fun and created so many grand ol' memories for me to look back on. Anyway, I was cast as a principal dancer within the production, so fittingly I was dancing a lot. The dance that was like 'the number' for the dancers was called 'Cell Block Tango' where all the ladies in the prison talk about how they killed their husbands - lovely! One lady recites her story about how she finds out that her husband has been cheating on her with multiple other women and a man even just to pop the cherry on top of the cake! For each name that she listed, a dancer would do a 'trick' of some sort to represent that specific affair. I, was honoured to represent Gladys! When her name was said, I would do this grand high kick to my nose, smack-bang at the front and centre of the stage - basically my moment within the 2-hour production!

When it came to the performances, they recorded the second to last performance of which was on a Thursday. My entire cohort was coming, so were my family and also my friends. Ultimately, at that point in Year 12, everyone in my life that was important was coming to watch this event so there was this underlying tension to make this show the best one yet. The show was going swimmingly and the time arrived for the infamous number of the 'Cell Block Tango' - Ella's moment, in other words. This 7 minute number of madness was going ferociously well, I was feeling fantastic and completely in my element. Then, the time came. That moment, right there on the Cashmere High Schools' auditorium stage, it was my time to absolutely shine. She begins listing the lovers: "Ruth,..." (fine), "Gladys..." (not fine, not fine at all). I kick and I slip and I fall right on my ass, making the biggest elephant plonk sound that would ever caress your ears so kindly. Going into this high kick, I had the upmost desire to impress the audience and my peers so much that I priorly thought to myself: "Ella, you are about to kick higher than you ever have done before." And I definitely fulfilled that promise, to say the least. Oh boy, I did - front and centre, right for everyone to see. And for YOU to see, too. Here is the moment captured below:

Fantastic, just fantastic.

This second story occurred just a few months ago actually, in the sweet old town of Blenheim. My family and I were on a wee venture up to the paradise itself and one night we decided to treat ourselves to eating out at a Thai restaurant. We all got to order our own dish, I ordered a vegan Pad Thai which they could do on request minus the eggs! Shout out to that mighty fine Thai restaurant in Blenheim! I felt like I kind of wanted to be a big boy and wanted challenge myself to having a bit of chilli on the side. Normally, I cope well with jalapeños and some curries because why not just spice up your life a little bit just like the Spice Girls said? But when I put the first wallop of chilli-refined Pad Thai into my mouth, I went off the spectrum of spicing up my life into that dangerous place of no return.

Slowly I felt this creeping sensation extend itself from my mouth to all areas of my face. The tingling caused this intense hot feeling, I felt as if I could cook a steak straight onto my skin. In attempt to contain myself, I thought maybe eating more would alleviate the heat. What a fat rookie mistake that was! Only intensifying the pain even further, I scampered off to the bathroom. The first thing I could think of doing was splashing water all over my face. That worked, kind of. I wet some napkins and planted them onto my face that temporarily cooled the burning tingles to a subtle ring across my face. You see the thing was that the feeling was creeping over my body which was worrying. If I didn't have water on a part of my body that was affected, then it would be in a state of agony. Crouched over the bathroom sink, water dripping off my face and heaving like a bull ready to stampede - I looked in the mirror and my lips were swollen balloons and my face was a ripe tomato, brilliant, I have never looked sexier in my life. Definitely was weeping like a willow, so the water that was pouring off my face was somewhat made up of my tears too.

There was no way that I was going out of this bathroom to a public dining place in the state that I was in. Ultimately, I was holding out hope for my mumma to come and rescue her damsel in distress. The door swung wide open and there was the Thai chef looking at me with a cheeky grin on her face, she said "the chilli hot, yes?" Well, she pinned the tail on the donkey with that one. For f**k sakes, I looked like a right state, I replied with a "yes, yes it is." At this point, I thought I would be wound up in a hospital bed awaiting treatment for intense anaphylactic shock. My mum finally came in and escorted me out of the restaurant. Hayley (my sister) was disappointed by my efforts because she had expected a dessert that night. But the early departure from the restaurant prohibited her from doing so, sorry sweetie! With some milk and time - it all settled down. I will not be eating Thai chilli again.

This story is quite the embarrassment, really. A few years ago, I was working at a Pita Pit branch - making that moola on a minimum wage to fund my upcoming travels. After a full night of festivaling the night before the at the Electric Avenue Festival, lets say my working performance was not up to its regular par; this story demonstrating exactly why. This cutie came up to the counter while I was working the till at the peak of the busy lunch hour. I notice that he had on the festival wristband so conversation strikes up and we began having a wholesome chat. Peak lunch hour in the fast food industry does not traditionally allow for wholesome conversation, but we were getting along so well. I made sure to get off the till and follow through with his order - the things you do for love (haha).

I popped on the infamous slippery serving gloves and got on a roll with his pita. Everything was going smoothly until we arrived at the sauce station. The freaking sauce station. Let me once again put the EMPHASIS onto the fact that the gloves were slippery suckers. I ask, "what sauce would you like?" I can't exactly remember his response, but can imagine that it would have been a mainstream BBQ (you can kind of predict what sauce someone is going to ask for after working there for a while, you need to make your own fun, you know?) As soon as I grasped onto the sauce bottle, I went to vigorously shake the bottle to get the sauce remnants to the end of the nozzle. Alas, the slippery gloves could not cope with the sheer force I used to do this. The sauce bottle shot out and away from my hands and out of the Pita Pit station completely. Watching a sauce bottle take flight was not on my to-do for the day. Myself, the cutie I was talking to, my co-workers, the other customers and my manager were in awe of the distance travelled. But, it ended in laughter ultimately. Exiting the station to collect my BBQ sauce activated my cheeks to go rather red. The walk of shame back into the station enhanced the colour even more. Sometimes, you are just so out of it (I was not intoxicated at work, just exhausted from being intoxicated the night before) that your mind has difficulty delivering instructions to the body - and that was what happened in an act of the BBQ sauce flight.

So, those are some embarrassing stories of mine that I decided to share with y'all. Stories like these seem to regularly appear on my daily itinerary which makes my life an entertaining one. I seem to even surprise myself with the sheer stupidity that I naturally inflict upon myself. Anyway, that's that and I hope that you enjoyed reading these and blushed alongside me as I revisited some painfully embarrassing moments. Have a brilliant blushing' day!

If you have any further questions based on this blog post or anything else in regards to this blog or personal queries, be sure to get in contact with me through this website or through the blog's instagram.

MORE LINKS:

~ Link for previous blog post: https://www.madein2000.com/post/17-vegan-for-2-months

~ Link to 'Born In 2000' instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellawasbornin2000/

~ Link to 'Born In 2000' opinion form: https://www.madein2000.com/we-want-you-r-opinion

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This blog will encompass the life of a 19-year-old kiwi chica. Composed of stories, advice, life lessons, worldly observations, videos and whatever else Ella's life brings to surface.

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